I originally got an account on Facebook four years ago because my publisher insisted. Social media was the new way for authors to "connect" with their readers. Now readers and fans had immediate access to their favorite authors and could get to know them by following them on their profiles or author pages. It was the great new way to sell books! So I did what I was told and joined several social media sites including LinkedIn, Google +, Facebook, Goodreads, and Twitter.
Now, after 4 or 5 years of social media, I can honestly say I'm burnt to a crisp. I simply cannot connect with every reader out there. It's a lovely idea and I love my readers but I'm just one person. I'm a mom of six children, a housewife, a cook, a wife and soon to be a grandma. And I work full time as a writer. Who has time to correspond with thousands of readers? It's nuts! You see, I'm the type of person who truly wants to get to know my readers. I like hearing what's going on in their lives and praying for them. I love getting comments about how my books impacted them. I want to answer every post, every question, and every message. But lately, I'm finding that I spend two or more hours a day on Facebook and I neglect my family and my writing. I honestly don't know how people who work full time and have families manage to post on facebook all the time.
In addition I spend so much time just answering posts and messages that I don't have time to really get to know anyone at all. I don't have time to scroll through nearly 3000 people's posts for the day so I can see what they are doing and make a comment. Facebook is all about connecting. It's about getting to know people and keeping in touch with friends and family.
Facebook is not about selling books!
That's the tragic error most publishers are making. People don't get on facebook to be bombarded with advertisements about this product or that product. And they especially don't connect with an author so that author can constantly try and sell them his or her latest release. They connect with authors to get to know them on a personal level. The only problem is, that puts a huge time burden on the author. I know some authors are really good at this. They spend hours on Facebook and love it. For me, I never felt like I could truly get to know any of my readers. There were just too many of them. And I don't even have that many followers! What about the authors who have 10,000 followers? Some of them hire people to post on Facebook, because let's face it, there's no way they would have time to connect with that many people.
Another reason I'm leaving Facebook is for privacy. My family is a very private family. My kids and my husband do not want me posting pictures of them. They don't want me sharing details of family events and vacations. Yet this is what some readers have expressed they want to know and see. I don't blame them. They like my books and want to know more about my personal life. Some authors have no problem with this. They share all sorts of personal information... baby pictures, pets, etc. But this is not me. I like to keep family things within my family, and that is hard to do when I have nearly 3000 people following my posts. So, what can I post about? My books! But that makes me fell cheap and unfriendly because once again, Facebook is NOT about selling books.
Don't you hate it when every post some author makes is trying to get you to buy their book?? I've actually thought about unfriending some people for that very reason. Plus, it makes me never want to buy their book. Why? Because Facebook is about connecting to people, not about selling things.
I guess I got a really sour taste in my mouth one year when my agent told me that publishers wanted to know how many "Likes" I had on my facebook page and how many twitter followers before they would even consider publishing one of my books. I couldn't believe that such a ridiculous thing had now become the standard for who got published and who didn't. I honestly think publishers are grasping at straws.. trying every new fad that comes along. It's sad and has the effect of excluding some fabulous new authors simply because they don't have a Facebook following.
So, I'm leaving Facebook. I'm closing down my account and my author page and breathing a huge sigh of relief! I will miss some people, and I sincerely hope those of you who followed me there will come visit me here on my blog from time to time. I intend to continue posting here and promise to answer comments to the best of my ability. I suggest you sign up to follow by email on the right side of this blog. That way you'll be notified whenever I post something. Even better, sign up for my newsletter (also on the right side of this blog) I also love to get emails from readers so feel free to contact me through my website.
Most authors, publishers, and media specialist will tell me I'm crazy to do this. I don't care. I have to do this for my own peace of mind and also because I'd much rather spend those 2 hours a day writing my next novel than fighting a losing battle on Facebook trying to connect with people that I'll never have the time to connect with properly. I've prayed about this and know this is the direction God wants for me. I trust Him with the results.
I'm glad you took a stand for your sanity. It has always been something that I have wondered if I would do if I were published. I have pretty much decided that I would not friend people just because they were fans. Facebook is for me to connect with friends and family. I already do not enjoy spending more than a couple minutes a day on facebook and I never spend time on twitter.
ReplyDeleteThank you for letting us know!
I don't blame you at all marylu. Facebook does take up a lot of time. I applaud your decision to spend time with your family. You are going to be a wonderful grandma. :)
ReplyDeleteMaryLu
ReplyDeletegood for you to stay true to yourself and family and stop getting caught up in the media frenzy. I totally understand what you are saying, and although I am a reader that finds it fun to get a glimpse into an author's life, I also believe strongly in keeping work and family separate. Don't let the publishers push you to do something that isn't comfortable for you - no sale is worth that. And best of luck with your writing - I will definitely keep "peeking" at you through your website :D
Huzzah! I totally feel that this is the right move for you. I myself have kept away from Facebook A LOT lately. I go on now and then to see what friends and family are up to, but it has become too much of a bother for me. Hugs and God bless, my friend!
ReplyDeleteFantastic decision, ML! Just coming off of a heated topic in a FB group I'm a member of, along with a zillion authors, I am so TURNED OFF by their comments that I wish they would just stop before I totally never want to read their books again. Grow up people, I want to say. It definitely has distorted the Book Publishing Biz and not in a good way. The times are changing, and I wish authors would realize that Social Media will break you in more ways than one. Please stick to what we love about you: Writing Books.
ReplyDeleteSad to see you go but I totally understand. At times it is difficult for me and I don't write books for a living:) Will continue to stop by here and see what is going on. And most definitely going to enjoy your new books!
ReplyDeleteMaryLu - I do not fault you at all for leaving Facebook. I appreciate the time you were on there and will continue to follow you through here and continue to buy your books. Having a Facebook account does not make me buy a book the content of the book is what makes me buy books. You are truly a talented author and it is not right that you were "forced" to join the social media. I don't use mine that often myself. I too would rather spend time with my family and read than type my life story on Facebook, no one needs or wants to know what I am doing each minute of each day. Good luck in your new ventures and I look forward to the new books.
ReplyDeleteI see where you are coming from and wish you well with your decision, I wondered myself how authors had enough time to be on there so much. I read your books and am happy to have you in my circle of authors that I read. loved the last series of the amish traveling by ship and all the things happening there and on land when they finally arrived.
ReplyDeletethanks for writing
Paula O
Blessings to you for doing what is right for you and your family. Will keep ya'll in prayer. I love your writing and have other ways to find out when a new book of yours is out. Go with God and do what He calls you to do love your hubbie, kids, write! : )
ReplyDeleteI don't blame you at all! I have been a little burnt out with the whole Facebook thing myself. I would rather follow my favorite authors by their blog and their newsletters.
ReplyDeleteAnd good for you! You deserve to take time for yourself and family. Especially when you have that little one on the way.
I will miss you, but I understand. I would much rather see you writing books then staying connected with people on Face Book.
ReplyDeleteSad to see you go but family should always come first. Good for you to stand by your priorities and not continue because of pressures from others. I will definitely be keeping updated from here! :)
ReplyDeleteLike BookishQueen said, thanks for letting us know with this heads up :) You're doing the right thing and even though we'll miss seeing you on facebook, we TOTALLY support you in this decision!! Keep up your wonderful books and being there for your family as God guides you, I'll definitely keep you in prayer and support what's best for you :) I also disagree with publishers saying to keep constantly on facebook, twitter and whatnot to keep connections going....not practical at all, this should not be a requirement as a writer in any context. Trusting God to bless you 100 fold in your obedience/decision to move forward and I know your books will continue to do well because of your amazing storytelling. What a blessing you are, MaryLu, hugs and smiles!!
ReplyDeleteMonday, March 10th,
ReplyDeleteGood for you MaryLu !!! Not to see you go, but that you would place your family and priorities first and keeping them private ! I have been tired of FB for some time now, and have been going on less and less. I truly commend you for your bold stand ..... love it, love it, love it !!! Thank-you for sharing this with us. Take care, and, God Bless.
You will be missed MaryLu but know this is something that has been on your mind for awhile now. And you know what? You were popular and sold lots of books before Facebook was around, that isn't going to change because you close your FB account. You know what's best for you and your family, regardless of what others may think. I am totally behind you. Praying you enjoy that 'extra' time writing and being a grandma! Blessing and hugs to you my friend!! ;)
ReplyDeleteI fully understand. May God Bless you. I know He will direct your path. I am all for Family. And being a nana is wonderful. I have 6 of them. I will follow your blog.
ReplyDeleteBlessings
Diana
Well, my comment disappeared when I tried to send it, so I'll try again. :-)
ReplyDeleteI hate to see you go but I totally understand and I would never want you to sacrifice your family and personal peace over it. It's so easy to get swept up in something without really evaluating if it's right for you. Kudos for having the courage to go against the flow. I love keeping up with you but will still do so through your blog and newsletters.
The thing I miss the most is Google Reader. It's a lot harder to keep up with blogs without it.
Hugs to you!
MaryLu, good for you. I think that if you were to poll your readers about whether they'd rather you were on Facebook or writing the next book and spending time with your family, every last one would agree you don't need Facebook. I'm happy to follow you via your blog! :-)
ReplyDeleteI'll miss seeing your updates, but totally get it. Facebook can be a total time suck, but at the same time it's how I've gotten to know and love several (many, actually!) dear friends. I'll just have to email you a little bit more often to see how you're doing. ;-)
ReplyDeleteOh good grief, it was supposed to ask for me name--thanks blogger! This is Casey. ;-)
DeleteI support you 100+++%, MaryLu!! I refused to join Facebook for the longest time, until I realized that it was the best way to see my daughter's pictures (she's a missionary in Germany). I get tired of all those book ads also. Don't know how much good they actually do, and have long wondered how authors managed to keep up and still find time to turn out quality books. You have an established following, so your blog and newsletter are more than enough.
ReplyDeleteI am in the middle of Elusive Hope and loving it, MaryLu. I got behind on review books because my daughter and her family were home for the first time in two years, then we had some sickness in the family. But I will post my review soon and publicize it everywhere! You can always contact me at cjarvis [at] bellsouth [dot] net.
That's a totally understandable decision, MaryLu, and I admire your priorities. :) I'm not on Facebook anymore either... (I do check some pages and such, but I don't actually have an account anymore.) I only had an account for a semester in college - but all the drama and temptations to chat and time-consuming-ness of it made me decide to deactivate. However, I'm on a lot of other social media sites, so I don't know if I necessarily save myself time, LOL. But I'm happy to avoid the drama of Facebook and use my other social media accounts to connect with readers as an author & freelance publicist.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, thank you for sharing the reasons behind your decision with us! You're an inspiration. :) Can't wait to read The Ransom and anything else you write!
~Amber
Very nice post again MaryLu. :) You have hit the nail on the head with this. As a reader, I really DISLIKE the self-promotional part of some authors on Facebook. It is a shame that publishers believe this is the way to go and strongly encourage authors to do this. And it never gets me to buy their books. So that theory fails with me.
ReplyDeleteIf I read a good book, I will read more from that author. Of course, it is beautiful to meet an author such as yourself who has allowed readers to get to know them. BUT ... you are correct in putting your family first.
I have such HUGE respect for you right now MaryLu.
And, we still get to know a little about an author by reading their work. I have learned through your writing, for example, that you are a lovely, strong woman of true faith. I love that. I've seen that too, of course, on your blog as well.
Good writing sells books.
Good, old fashion word-of-mouth sells books. (I've recommended many to your books, and will continue to do so!)
And you are so right about your comment "Facebook is about connecting to people, not about selling things." Love it. :)
Sooooo ... all that being said, I will continue to lift you up in prayer. I pray that you will always follow God's heart for your life, for your family, for your writing. I will continue to read your books, because in them I have found good stories, strong characters, intriguing plotlines, and FAITH expressed.
Revision to the above .... ;) In regards to my comment about putting family first ... I meant before Facebook. Of course, God first, then family ... :)
DeleteGood for you! I'm a published author and I can't see that all the time I've put on FB has done much in the long run. Readers want books. I can't write if I'm always catching up on FB, Twitter, et al. My readers are wonderful, I have to have one of them say, "I hate your writing but you're so fun on Facebook I keep buying them." Nope, they want the stories.
ReplyDeleteAgain, congratulations on taking your life back.
Huge hugs!! You are my favorite author and I totally support your decision!!!
ReplyDeleteWell, :( :( :(. But I do understand. It's hard for me as a reviewer to keep up with blogging and all the FB notifications and I find myself spending way too much time on FB. I love messaging a few special friends on FB and seeing ppl's posts, but you get so many friends, that after awhile you only get to see a few on the newsfeed. I just don't know how I'm going to find out about your books from now on, b/c yes, FB is where I found out about all of them including The Ransom. Before the internet it was from CBD catalogs. LOL I won't remember to come here, but I guess we can sign up for email notices? I honestly don't know how you authors manage to keep up with family, writing, and FB. I couldn't. But even though I DO understand totally, I'll miss you -- I'm being honest here. :( Wahhh. :'(
ReplyDeleteI do see the email sign up thingy so off I go! <3
DeleteYou know, MaryLu, I agree with you. Whenever I want to know what the latest news is with you, I have to check several places. It will be nice to check one place. :-)
ReplyDeleteAlso, if you keep us updated on your blog on when you have a new book coming out, WE will promote you on Facebook, Amazon, everywhere else. If you want to keep one general FB site open just for updates, that might be helpful for those who regularly are on FB. You don't have to respond to anyone, and just state on there it's for book updates. :-)
Regardless, you are wise to protect your health in every way--YOU are the only one who can write those fantastic books!! So doing whatever you can to rejuvenate & stay fresh is best for ALL of us. :-)
I'm humbled and tearful at all of your loving comments! Wow, thank you all so much. I wish I could answer you all individually but alas, the time monster keeps rearing his demanding head. :-) Thank you all for understanding and for supporting me. This is a huge step of faith for me to close the door on one of the biggest marketing venues.. but I haven't felt right about it for some time and, like I said, it's draining on my time and energy. I always said I would put God first, then family, then my work. I trust that God will provide and sell as many of my books as He wants, with or without Facebook. Sending huge hugs and lots of love in all your directions!!!! You are all the best! Please don't be strangers... you know where to find me. :-)
ReplyDeleteI think your comments are spot on. I think Facebook is getting too commercialized, though I suppose that's how they make their money. I find myself spending way too much time on FB, just scrolling through the newsfeed. It's way too easy to spend too much time on it. I'd much rather you spend your time on your family and on writing the books we love to read than on random FB posts. I can also certainly understand why your family prefers their privacy.
ReplyDeleteI respect you for your obedience to God's leading.
I have enjoyed finding friends on Facebook though anymore I post what we're doing but never get to check on anyone else other than my kids. There is not enough time!
ReplyDeleteI'll keep up with your blog - you are an awesome lady of the pirate realm - Dios la Bendiga!
I completely understand, my hubby stopped FB since it was hard keeping up with everyone's status and a time management issue.
ReplyDeleteWhen he felt like checking his FB account he would instead read a verse from the bible.
Keeping you in prayer
Janella
I think you have made wonderful decision.
ReplyDeleteMaryLu, I'm so proud of you for doing this! God and family AND your sanity should indeed come first. I certainly know how time-consuming FB can be... Too many times over these past few years, I've easily lost a half day in trying to keep connected with everybody. As a reviewer, we feel we need to stay in contact with authors and readers, as well as family and friends! Whew - rewarding, but utterly exhausting sometimes!! Love you heaps Captain, and I do believe God will bless you for listening and for giving more time back to Him. Hugs!
ReplyDeleteWell said! I think some of the authors that do it all don't sleep! And it is ridiculous when the publisher wants to know how many followers you have just to consider your book! (I can't stand it when you have to have X number of followers to be considered for anything really But I digress! LOL!) It should be about what you write that matters not how many people clicked that like or follow button! I totally respect your decision. :)
ReplyDeleteMany Blessings,
Amada (pronounced. a.m.a.th.a)
Dear Sweet MaryLu I will miss seeing your smiling face but I understand completely how stressful Facebook can be. You take care of yourself and that beautiful grandbaby that will soon be here. I will be checking back here for news of that next masterpiece I know you are working on. ((BIG hugs)) and lots of love to you!!
ReplyDeleteI'm disappointed in the Christian publishers who focus so much (and expect so much from authors) on social media. That's kind of sad to me. I don't have a Facebook/Twitter account but I follow you via email and newsletter so I can still stay up to date...and that's how I stay connected with authors I like. Oh, but I do go on Pinterest and I've noticed I need to be careful of my time on it because that can get addicting, too!
ReplyDeleteMaryLu, I am so glad I am on your team. You know that I was feeling the same way and another Author Tricia Goyer wrote a new book. Balanced and I am loving it, you might enjoy it also. Right here to support you , Being the Mamma to 7, 3 still at home and Grand-mamma to 7, I can so relate. FB is about being social, meeting people and I am thankful for the connections it has give me with authors, publishers, publicity places and lots of reader /reviewer friends. And even old friends renewed. God bless you , Linda Finn, Faithful Acres Books http://www.faithfulacresbooks.wordpress.com , faithfulacresbooks@gmail.com
ReplyDeleteHurrah for you!! I've never gotten on FaceBook, Twitter, Pinterest, etc. and have recently deleted my Instagram, YouTube, Google +, and Blogger accounts (so now I'm just commenting as "Anonymous", but I'm still here!). As a reviewer [of books], many programs/publishers will not even accept me into their program because I don't have a follower count for my blog! (Nor do I know how to get one, as I have an OverBlog blog and there are no tutorials for posting a follower count on them.) One of the reasons that I'm not on the social media sites in the first place is so that I'll have MORE time to read and review! Plus, if my friends want to be my friends, they can pull their load of keeping the friendship going just as well as I can without Internet. I applaud you and admire you even more for this decision! Keep up the wonderful, unplugged :) books. I pray continued blessings on you and your family! Have a wonderful week.
ReplyDeleteCallie
I've never had a FB account (nor will I) much to my friends and family's chagrin. If I'm friends with someone than they know it. I don't need a social network keeping track. I much prefer personal interaction, although I understand that FB has it's advantages. But receiving your postcard in the mail about "The Ransom" made my day and was much better than a "post". I follow your blog and will continue to do so. You have a right to your and your family's privacy. Enjoy being unplugged :-)
ReplyDeleteI didn't read all the comments to your post but what I did read, we all agree with you in going with God's direction instead of man's dictates. I was surprised that while reading your post I grieved for the could be/would be authors that may have less of a chance for us readers to experience their gift God has given them because of their lack of "likes" on facebook. I know an author has to establish their following by their work and if their work won't be published because people don't know them to "like" them... well, you see the sad circle we could spin. I love trying out new authors to see their style and read a new great book but I also snatch up, if I'm able at the time, the next new book by an author on my "favorite author" list. Stand firm in your convictions to follow God. His path isn't always easy when there is worldly pressure, but His path is always the right one to take.
ReplyDelete*standing ovation* I've been considering the same thing myself. For unpublished authors it's all about the numbers. I created a page for one of my short stories and wanted people to read it then like the page or leave me a message. Nobody read the story, but the page received likes. Tell me, how can you like a story if you've never read it? How can you like an author if you've never read their book(s)? I no longer think of Facebook as a valid tool for business. I keep my personal page to stay updated on friends and family, but my author page is neglected for the most part.
ReplyDeleteHi, MaryLu!!
ReplyDeleteThanks for your honest post re: your decision to discontinue Facebook!! I completely understand, and will continue to follow your blog!!
I will say that being a relatively new reader of fiction, and knowing of very few Christian fiction authors - Facebook has been a good place for me to learn of Christian fiction authors.
Thanks for using the gift of writing that God has given you - to inspire your readers!!