Through the Valley of the Shadow of Death with Jesus!

 I'm going to share something personal here, but only for the purpose and hope that it will help someone out there.  The past year and a half, (and still ongoing) I have been through the hardest time of my life. Not physically, but emotionally.  Family members who I love more than my own life turned on me. Relationships were severed, affections lost, communication clipped or non-existent.  I am a highly sensitive person who wears my heart on my sleeve so when all this occurred, it was devastating. Now, I've had my heart broken many times in my life...at age 16 when my first love dumped me for another girl. Then in my 20's more than one man who I thought loved me, crushed me like a bug. Then, of course, my divorce, the shared custody of my children, problems in my current marriage..etc.  But I have to say that this last heartache was by far worse than all those put together. 

I'm sharing this because I'm coming out on the other side of this Valley of the Shadow of Death, and I'm coming out stronger and better, but ONLY because the Lord was in that valley with me. When I get hurt, I have a tendency to curl up in a ball and remove myself from life and have a nice pity party.  I can't tell you the number of nights I cried myself to sleep over this. Ten years ago, I would have probably stopped reading the Bible or praying and just wallowed in my misery. Instead, I opened my Bible every morning and read and prayed and pleaded with the Lord for comfort, help, and wisdom. 

If you're going through a trial or a heartache, I'm here to tell you that Jesus cares. He sees everything you're going through and He feels your pain. He's the only one who can completely understand what you are suffering and actually feel the anguish you are feeling! Think about that. There's not a single person on Earth who can do that. Even a spouse or good friend cannot actually FEEL what you are going through and understand it. But when you turn to Him, when you ask for His help. When you full submit to His will, He will never fail you! 

You see, I would sit for hours and talk with Jesus, ask Him what happened and why and what I did or didn't do or what I could have done better, different. Those conversations were so incredible, and I came away with a better understanding of myself, my motives, my mistakes, and those of my family members. Things began to make sense, and in places they didn't, I left them in God's hands. I learned so much through all of this!  I learned I had made these people idols in my life. I learned I had been selfish at times, and I had been insensitive. I saw all of that and repented and asked the Lord to create in me a new heart. He loves that kind of prayer! 

And yes, these family members had made mistakes too, but I forgave them. I prayed for them. I still do! And the Lord led me to a ton of Scriptures about reconciliation and restoration and I prayed these verses over the situation. It is our enemy who loves to come into families and tear them apart, but God is in the business of making all things new!  I began to have hope. I found joy again!  

The situation is still ongoing, but I can report that things have improved and are slowly getting better. Certain relationships will not be like they were here on Earth. I know that. But one thing the Lord said to me during this process is "The Best is Yet to Come!"  I clearly heard those exact words! You see, in heaven, all relationships will be mended and restored, but not only restored, they will be perfect! We will know each other, understand each other, and love each other more than we ever could here.  It's going to be wonderful.

In the meantime, through all of this, I've developed a deeper and more intimate relationship with Jesus, and through that, my faith has grown. And along with faith, comes hope and joy. This intimacy with Jesus is the only thing that will get me through the next trial and the one after that, for as long as we are on this Earth (Which I hope isn't much longer)  

Here are some tactics of the enemy during any trial you are going through. It doesn't have to be an emotional trial like I'm having. This could be anything: Job loss, health scare, money problems. Remember Satan's job is to kill, steal and destroy. His first priority is to get you to walk away from Jesus. If he can't do that, he will do his best to make you ineffective for the Lord. 

So beware of these three attacks: Recognize them and be prepared for them when they come. 

1. The enemy will make you feel bad for mistakes you may have made that caused your current trial. In my case, he went back 30 years!  Or he may just make you feel guilty for any sins in your past or present. You can recognize his voice because it is condemning and will make you feel bad and unworthy. Alternatively, the Holy Spirit's conviction is gentle and brings hope for repentance.

2. Satan will do his best to keep you away from reading the Bible and spending time with Jesus.  Let's face it, it can be hard to do either of these when you are suffering. But our enemy knows that this is the only thing that will get you through your trials and fulfill God's purpose for the trial. Once you drift from the Lord, Satan has won this round.

3. Satan will make you feel like you've been treated unfairly and the people who hurt you are bad and owe you something. He will convince you that you have every right to be mad and demand an apology, etc. Or if your trial has nothing to do with specific persons, he will still try and convince you that you don't deserve what is happening, that God is unfair and unjust for allowing this to happen. He will try and get you mad at God and hence not spend time with Him. He will tell you God doesn't care. 

So, beware, dear Brothers and Sisters. I know many of you are going through struggles right now. And I believe those trials will continue until the very moment we hear that Trumpet call! 

Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest. Joshua 1:9